Ed Miliband’s Dad Killed My Cat – Ed’s Reply & Other Sunday Sport Favourites

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That’s right. The Sunday Sport has exclusively revealed that Ralph Miliband was a stone cold cat killer as they leave no jingoistic stone of pensionable age unturned in their attempt to find a story. Here’s what their star source, Eunice, had to say on the matter.

Only a Belgian – a Belgian communist – could have killed a kitten in cold blood like that. The Red b*****d!

ONLY a Belgian could have done this….Belgians being primarily associated with chocolate, Poirot and cat murder but Ed Miliband was not letting this lie and used his acceptance speech of a Spectator Award to lay into Eunice and The Sport.

However Ed is on a sticky wicket taking on a paper like the The Sport as they have quite a few major scoops in the past that have turned out to be right.

1) Worlds Ugliest Woman Shocker

The most ridiculous thing is the weekly debate question. The answer is clearly no.

The most ridiculous thing is the weekly debate question. The answer is clearly no.

 

2) White Cliffs Of Dover Shocker

The gold necklace was more likely to be 18ct than this story being true.

The gold necklace had as much chance of being 18ct as the story did of being true.

3) Monkey Plane Shocker

Diana's story presumably 'untold' because it hadn't actually happened.

Diana’s story presumably ‘untold’ because it hadn’t actually happened.

4) Hide and Seek Shocker

The murderer never expected that excuse to work

The murderer never expected that excuse to work.

 

5) WW2 Bomber Shocker

If you're called Tragic Mel, you should be prepared for the worst

If you’re called Tragic Mel, you should be prepared for the worst.